Spending Your Artist Advance

As an entertainment attorney for over 25 years, I consider it part of my responsibility to my clients to not only provide the best advice on the legal and business aspects of their careers, but to also advise them not to “trick out” or spend their advances, royalties or performance monies unwisely.  Unfortunately, that kind of advice usually falls on deaf ears.  With the recent reports of recording artists, actors and athletes filing for bankruptcy or having problems with the IRS, I thought I would list some things you should not spend your money on (in no particular order):

1. BUYING A NEW CAR EVERY MONTH!

Really?!  You haven’t even driven the last car you bought and you now want another one?! I know it’s part of the American dream to want that Maybach or that Lamborghini, but you don’t need five of them in your driveway.  Instead get one car (two at the most if you got a wifey and kids!) and your accountant or business manager might suggest you lease it to take advantage of the tax benefits.  The next time you think about buying another $100,000 car that you really don’t need, think about how many laptop computers you can buy with that money for your local high school!

2. GETTING A 10 BEDROOM MANSION WITH A BOWLING ALLEY AND YOU’RE SINGLE AND DON’T EVEN BOWL! – IDIOT!!

Despite the recent real estate crisis, buying a home is usually a good investment especially if it’s in an area where property values will likely go up.  But get a house or condo and make sure you can afford the monthly payments!  If you’re single, you don’t need 10 bedrooms – and you sure don’t need a bowling alley in it even if your ass could bowl!  Better to rent an apartment or house until you’re sure that you’ll have a career in the entertainment business, before you go buy that 10 bedroom spread!

3. BUYING JEWELRY EVERY WEEK – YOU ONLY GOT ONE NECK AND TWO ARMS!

Again, jewelry is nice and the right pieces could be pawned in the future if your career goes bust, but no need to O.D. on every new watch you hear Jay-Z talk about in a new record!  Remember, he actually can afford to buy them – you can’t!

4. PAYING FOR YOUR ENTOURAGE – AND YOU’RE NOT VINCE!

I get it – you don’t like to roll by yourself, but that doesn’t mean you have to pay for every meal, drink, hotel room, etc. for your homies!  From time to time, it’s ok to pick up the tab for a couple of friends, but not for 20 people! Hell to the no!

5. MAKING IT RAIN EVERY WEEKEND AT THE STRIP CLUB!

Do I really have to explain this one?! It’s perfectly fine to show your appreciation to a stripper – after all, she is “entertaining” you, but “making it rain” and spending thousands of dollars every weekend…can you spell “T-R-I-C-K?”  I know – “It ain’t tricking if you got it…until you don’t!”  And you still going home alone, playa! Wow!!

6. GOING ON A SHOPPING SPREE EVERY OTHER DAY!

It’s a nice fantasy to be able to go to Fifth Ave or Rodeo Drive and shop ‘til you drop, but remember you can only carry so many bags!  So unless you’re related to Saudi royalty, limit your shopping sprees to special occasions…like Christmas!

7. BUYING JEWELRY, CLOTHES AND PAYING RENT FOR WOMEN OTHER THAN YOUR WIFEY!

Needless to say, be careful tricking on all those side-chicks.  Especially if you have kids and aren’t supporting them!  Memorize these two words: “Child support!”

8. BUYING JEWELRY, CLOTHES AND PAYING RENT FOR YOUR BABY DADDY EVEN THOUGH HE HAS FIVE OTHER BABY MOMMAS!

Ladies, don’t get “pimped out” cause after all: I.O.D. – “It’s Only D_ _ K” (fill in the blanks!!)

One last thing, listen to your accountant or business manager when they tell you that they have to deduct money from your next paycheck to pay your taxes!! Don’t argue with them and let them do their jobs!

For more info – ask “Nas,” “Nicolas Cage,” “Lauren Hill,” “Toni Braxton,” etc.